Lifeways helps bridge years of silence between Ali and his mum through letters

Keeping in touch over long distances can be tough, and that was the case for Ali from Kingdom House in Sheffield and his mum. 

For years, the two had no contact. His mum lives in Scotland, and it had long been understood she was living in a care home, with any communication needing to go through support staff. 

But everything changed when Lifeways brought in Kingdom House’s new Registered Manager, Andrew Sharp. 

Introductions

The team at Kingdom House already ran a tight ship, achieving a ‘Good’ CQC rating across all areas even without a Registered Manager in place at the time. 

When Andrew joined, he brought added structure. According to Julia Smith, Ali’s key worker, the focus on activities also improved. 

“I think since Andrew joined the team, we’ve been really focused on getting the people we support out. Activities are much better, and we’re setting up more structured plans,” she said. 

As part of his introduction to the role, Andrew made a point of meeting families connected to the people they support. It was during this process that he first uncovered the situation involving Ali and his mum. 

He explained: “There were often conversations about Ali’s mum, and the understanding was that contact had been lost because she was in a care home, with communication going through support staff. 

“We had a phone number on file for her, but it wasn’t clear how up to date it was, so I tried calling it to see if I could re-establish contact. There was no answer.” 

However, a couple of weeks later, Andrew received a call from Ali’s mum. She was not in a care home but living in a small village in Scotland. She had previously worked as a psychiatric nurse and had a strong understanding of Ali’s care needs. 

“So we had a conversation and ultimately agreed that exchanging letters every couple of weeks would meet Ali’s needs,” added Andrew. 

“I spoke to Julia and opened the door for her to see that communication via letters was possible, and she’s absolutely run with it.” 

Gentle smiles

For the past few months, Ali has been sending letters to his mum, keeping her updated on his life and often including drawings and photos. 

Although he is non-speaking, both Andrew and Julia have noticed his gentle smiles every time they take him to the post office to send his letters. That smile returns again when his mum writes back. 

The first package even included a teddy bear for Ali, which has since become something he holds close. 

“It just makes everything you do worthwhile,” said Andrew. 

“In health and social care, we often focus on the big things, the big actions. But sometimes it’s the small things that make the biggest difference to someone’s life.” 

A quiet shift in confidence 

Not only has contact with his mum led to gentle smiles on Ali’s face, it has also helped him grow in confidence and slowly come out of his shell. 

Described as a bit of a “homebird” by Julia, Ali is a huge fan of 80s music, craft work, and has even started baking at Gateways, a scheme run by Mencap. 

But as someone who previously spent a lot of time in his bedroom, Julia has noticed he is now coming out more and connecting better with staff since reconnecting with his mum. 

“I think having regular contact with his mum, and the routine of writing letters, will encourage him to try other things. 

“He doesn’t like new experiences, but doing this could really help him move forward.” 

A visit in the making 

Due to her age, Ali’s mum asked for minimal pressure around maintaining contact and agreed that letters would be the best way forward for now. Looking ahead, the team at Kingdom House are hopeful that Ali will be able to travel by train to Scotland in the near future to see his mum in person for the first time in years. 

“We’re looking at the possibility of visiting mum in Scotland. Even if the journey only amounts to a 10-minute coffee and a cake, which is one of Ali’s favourite things, it’s worth facilitating that for him,” said Andrew. 

Julia also pointed out that the team will begin gradually introducing Ali to train journeys, so when the time comes, he is ready to make the trip. 

“It would be really nice for Ali to finally see his mum after all these years. With us introducing him to trains, you never know what the future could hold.” 

To find out more about Kingdom House here: Kingdom House | Lifeways